Last week, Patty and I were finally able to celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary. The truth is we’ve been married for over 21 years, but we had bought tickets to Hamilton right when everything shut down for Covid, and so we’ve been impatiently waiting this whole time for things to open back up. What a joy to finally sit in the Pantages and relish this small return to normalcy.
Musical theatre is much more Patty’s thing than mine, and yet I find it profoundly moving. Different than a movie, it is much more of a curated experience, not just personal, but a collective moment the audience participates in together. And when this happens, it makes me aware of how beauty, and depth, and redemption are not merely things I long for, but we all long for. They are ubiquitous. Our heart longings reveal our common humanity, beyond all the superficial things that divide us.
And in Hamilton, there is this moment of desperation, as this deeply broken marriage hangs precariously in the balance. Alexander and Eliza have experienced the deep loss of their son and the reality of Alexander’s unfaithfulness and lack of discretion. And as the song unfolds, the words are sung,
There are moments that the words don't reach
There's a grace too powerful to name
We push away what we can never understand
We push away the unimaginable
And in between the quiet notes, you can hear the tears of the audience. Shoulders gently shaking with muffled sobs. Because forgiveness, true forgiveness, feel so beyond us. So out of grasp, and yet so gut-wrenchingly beautiful.
Forgiveness, can you imagine?
Forgiveness, can you imagine?
If you see him in the street
Walking by her side, talking by her side, have pity
They are going through the unimaginable
True forgiveness is so beyond us. Because we live in a world of Karma. Of consequence. Of tit for tat. And when we are wounded or threatened we self-protect. We divide. We lash back.
But our longings expose so much more about us. In our desperation for the unimaginable, we reveal our desire for what lies beyond us all. We long for grace.
I was reflecting on Jesus with his disciples on the night of his betrayal. How John tells us Jesus now knows all that lies ahead of him. Judas’ betrayal. His disciples fleeing and abandoning him. The persecution of the courtroom. The cross.
And Jesus kneels before each of them and washes their feet. All the dust and smell and filth. He bows before them in humility and loves them in a way that they can hardly comprehend. He lowers himself to a level that defies every prideful law of this world that seeks to silence the power of his grace.
And then he tells them that this is now their role. Those who have been washed become foot washers. Those made clean must now stoop down to wash the feet of others. Those forgiven become forgivers.
And this world is longing for it, desperately, in the depths of its being. Longing for this unimaginable grace. And we are the ones to give it. Those of us who have experienced this humbling cleansing must now cleanse. “As I have loved you, so you must love one another.”
I encourage you this week to savor the beauty of forgiveness and grace. To, once again, receive it. To allow it to wash over you, and make you clean. Undeserved grace. Unmerited favor. And then to give it. Freely, generously, and without condition. And as you do, the kingdom of heaven breaks through and reveals true beauty. True forgiveness, beyond our comprehension. An unimaginable beauty that can save the world.
I sure love you guys!
Jeff